Are we that intimidating? : Starbucks the bargin hunters meat market

I was sitting in Starbucks for the second Sunday afternoon in a row, working on a business plan for my client's ad campaign. This means I've spent a total of about seven hours at the Columbus Circle Starbucks in NYC across two weeks and probably seen close to a thousand faces enter and exit during this time. Old, young, female, male, foreign, first generation, parents were on the Mayflower... all types.

During this time I've also gotten a few 'moves made,' as outlined below.

I. Cute, mid-twenties, NYU B-school guy.
A. Approach: Kept making eye contact and an attempted smile across our computer screens from two tables over.
B. Duration: 2.5 hours
C. Response: A smile or two from me.
D. Result: Nothing. He left before I did and before saying anything.

II. Friendly, mid-twenties, Nigerian, Big Smile
A. Approach: Stopped by my table and introduced himself, said he noticed me, I was pretty and seemed friendly, did I live in the area could he ask a question or two about museums?
B: Duration: 10 minutes
C: Response: Advice from me.
D: Result: Turned down his offer to attend a museum with him but did say thank you and good luck.

III. Internet programmer of undefined mixed race, mid thirties, a bit goofy and hyper
A. Approach: Asked what a 'beautiful princess' was doing working. Kept calling me your heiness and making bad jokes about the Starbucks bears on display by my table.
B. Duration: too long, 10 min. maybe
C. Response: Awkward laughter, turned down giving him my biz card as our agency has developers
D. Result: I was sufficiently weirded out, esp. the 2nd time he tried before leaving... making the bears dance

IV. Handsome studious looking gent, early 40's
A. Approach: Asked to share my table, later kept making too long eye contact, occasionally bumped leg (not occasionally enough to be accidental).
B. Duration: 30 min.
C. Response: Awkward shifting of seating arrangement. Have a good evening from me.
D. Result: I got up and left.

V. Well dressed, late-twenties hottie!
A. Approach: Exchanged eye contact in line, smile or two, came over right by me (cross about 12 people) in the 'pick up' line, shifted weight from foot to foot awkwardly.
B. Duration: 12 min.
C. Response: Much exchanged eye contact, lash/hair flipping, adjusting and smiles from me.
D. Result: Guy didn't have anything to say after 'hello,' then got on phone. Seemed to stall and pace outside of Starbucks. I remained inside to WORK. He left.

VI. 30 years old, getting tutored in English at adjacent table
A. Approach: Teacher slipped me a note he'd written on starbucks napkin. 'I must say, in my years in New York I have never seen anyone who possessed a face as beautiful as yours......(insert more cheesiness)” with contact info.
B. Duration: 2 min.
C. Response: Thank you from me.
D. Result: Slightly awkward still sitting by guy. Not calling. But flattered.

VII. 45 year old, sloppy white guy, lots of bags and a beach towel
A. Approach: Asked me to watch his belongings while he ordered. Sat by me after ordering playing with a baby at the table next to me. Figured he knew the people as he asked me for advice with his internet girlfriend
B. Duration: again too long 15 min.
C. Response: . I suggested he log on at the Apple store.
D. Result: He asked me about work, quipped that I was ‘too busy a lady for romance,’ and left. Turns out he didn’t know the people with the baby either.

After all this I was left thinking JAY-SUS would MR. BIG approach a girl in a Starbucks? And in walked Chris Noth... then Anderson Cooper. Neither made a move.. but we won’t blame Anderson and we don’t need Noth.

Now I'm sitting here wondering why it is that guys in my (I won't say league, but I will say 'within my own culture and age group’ for lack of better terms) can't talk to a girl? Have we become so intimidating that only foreigners and weird old dudes will take the time to talk to us? So what is it guys?!!

1. 

Hey Shorty - Finding 'love' at a sports bar

So my happily-coupled friend Jen and I are out watching my team lose terribly on Saturday when (well into the fourth and shamefull quarter) she points out this really cute, tall, dark, stranger that she thinks I should talk to. She clearly loves living vicariously through her single friends and is psyched with her sighting. I'm thinking what's the point? But, it seems that the handsome stranger and I have mutual friends. I make a deal with Jen that we'll talk these mutual friends and if this leads to us talking to him... bonus, otherwise it was never worth our time.

My scam is genius and, within minutes, we hit it off with the guy she'd selected for me. This goes really well for about half an hour until I called the guy "shorty." This was clearly a joke as said guy is well over 6 feet tall. However, apparently this pulled the trigger on some reverse Napoleon complex because the next thing I know he was reeling and asking me to guess his height.

I guess 6'3." Wrong answer.

Jen backs me up because her bf is 6'5" and this seems right to her. Wrong decision.
'Shorty,' claims to be 6'7". Thinking this is a joke we played along and tried to laugh the 'mistake' off.

'Shorty' isn't having it. He got really defensive and did everything from asking his 6'3" friend to stand next to him to challenging Jen to a fight.  Attempting to be witty he then demands that Jen get a piece of paper and sign a permission slip for before said fight.

As the situation was getting ugly, and there were mutual friends and football watching-peers about, I did everything to smooth the situation. I jokingly renamed 'shorty' 'Geoffrey'' (ala Toys R Us), admitted false fault, nothing worked.

Jen and I finally decided to change the subject and back away slowly. We let him know it was nice to meet him and that 'look at the time we're off to another bar.' We picked up our purses to make a quick exit, started to turn and heard 'wait.... would you girls like to go to another bar with us?' Us meaning 'shorty & co.'

We politely declined. This led to a confrontation over where we were headed. But, standing under the shadow of a persistent and potentially crazy giant, we threw out 'Off the Wagon' random. We had no intention of going to Off the Wagon, we're just looking for a near by haven with lots traffic to and fro... and thus, lots of witnesses.

Shorty/Geoffrey then decided it was time to insult our choice of venue. He gave a passionate reprimand on how Down the Hatch (same vibe and management as Off the Wagon) is the obvious only decision.

This time we allowed him to revel in our ''ignorance'' and when he turned to the bartender to close his tab, we fled.... to Off the Wagon as we figured if nothing else, crazy-tall-guy was too proud to back down and be be seen there.

No clue if it was the testosterone, the competitive sports vibe or a chemical imbalance... but I've learned to shut my mouth during sporting events and hope for first downs not first dates.