I was sitting in Starbucks for the second Sunday afternoon in a row, working on a business plan for my client's ad campaign. This means I've spent a total of about seven hours at the Columbus Circle Starbucks in NYC across two weeks and probably seen close to a thousand faces enter and exit during this time. Old, young, female, male, foreign, first generation, parents were on the Mayflower... all types.During this time I've also gotten a few 'moves made,' as outlined below.
I. Cute, mid-twenties, NYU B-school guy.
A. Approach: Kept making eye contact and an attempted smile across our computer screens from two tables over.
B. Duration: 2.5 hours
C. Response: A smile or two from me.
D. Result: Nothing. He left before I did and before saying anything.
II. Friendly, mid-twenties, Nigerian, Big Smile
A. Approach: Stopped by my table and introduced himself, said he noticed me, I was pretty and seemed friendly, did I live in the area could he ask a question or two about museums?
B: Duration: 10 minutes
C: Response: Advice from me.
D: Result: Turned down his offer to attend a museum with him but did say thank you and good luck.
III. Internet programmer of undefined mixed race, mid thirties, a bit goofy and hyper
A. Approach: Asked what a 'beautiful princess' was doing working. Kept calling me your heiness and making bad jokes about the Starbucks bears on display by my table.
B. Duration: too long, 10 min. maybe
C. Response: Awkward laughter, turned down giving him my biz card as our agency has developers
D. Result: I was sufficiently weirded out, esp. the 2nd time he tried before leaving... making the bears dance
IV. Handsome studious looking gent, early 40's
A. Approach: Asked to share my table, later kept making too long eye contact, occasionally bumped leg (not occasionally enough to be accidental).
B. Duration: 30 min.
C. Response: Awkward shifting of seating arrangement. Have a good evening from me.
D. Result: I got up and left.
V. Well dressed, late-twenties hottie!
A. Approach: Exchanged eye contact in line, smile or two, came over right by me (cross about 12 people) in the 'pick up' line, shifted weight from foot to foot awkwardly.
B. Duration: 12 min.
C. Response: Much exchanged eye contact, lash/hair flipping, adjusting and smiles from me.
D. Result: Guy didn't have anything to say after 'hello,' then got on phone. Seemed to stall and pace outside of Starbucks. I remained inside to WORK. He left.
VI. 30 years old, getting tutored in English at adjacent table
A. Approach: Teacher slipped me a note he'd written on starbucks napkin. 'I must say, in my years in New York I have never seen anyone who possessed a face as beautiful as yours......(insert more cheesiness)” with contact info.
B. Duration: 2 min.
C. Response: Thank you from me.
D. Result: Slightly awkward still sitting by guy. Not calling. But flattered.
VII. 45 year old, sloppy white guy, lots of bags and a beach towel
A. Approach: Asked me to watch his belongings while he ordered. Sat by me after ordering playing with a baby at the table next to me. Figured he knew the people as he asked me for advice with his internet girlfriend
B. Duration: again too long 15 min.
C. Response: . I suggested he log on at the Apple store.
D. Result: He asked me about work, quipped that I was ‘too busy a lady for romance,’ and left. Turns out he didn’t know the people with the baby either.
After all this I was left thinking JAY-SUS would MR. BIG approach a girl in a Starbucks? And in walked Chris Noth... then Anderson Cooper. Neither made a move.. but we won’t blame Anderson and we don’t need Noth.
Now I'm sitting here wondering why it is that guys in my (I won't say league, but I will say 'within my own culture and age group’ for lack of better terms) can't talk to a girl? Have we become so intimidating that only foreigners and weird old dudes will take the time to talk to us? So what is it guys?!!
