The Work Hottie: Does Frank Wear a Size 7?

As I'm sure every girl can attest, there's at least one guy in the office that makes it easier to come into work everyday. The type that smiles at you in the elevator, asks you what floor you're going to and sends your IQ plummeting 20 points as you try to say something more clever than 'ummmmm uhhhhh eleven please."
Take that and amplify it by the fact that I work in advertising. This means lots of cool girls, a hand full of equally cool gay guys and very few eligible straight bachelors. Suddenly the guy described in paragraph one stands out like True Religions at a 2005 sample sale. It's not that I condone looking for romance in the workplace. Sure office crushes can keep life more interesting, but stats show that a surprising amount of people do meet their matches at work... so it keeps us all hopeful.
One three day weekend a couple falls ago ... I was out with FIVE of my favorite couples. at 7B on a Sunday night. This was odd because for once. While I adored the company of the ten friends around me, and they're the types that make sure to include the single girl, I inevitably found myself wishing one of my single girls was out as well. That and I kept getting bits and pieces of non-single advice such as, "date someone older than you; guys your age aren’t looking for girlfriends."
As their charity talks continued, I started panning the empty bar. No prospects. My friend Gina is also panning the empty bar, but she came across a find... an old-fashioned photo booth at the back of the bar.
We scampered over, inspected the booth and laughed at the 'example photos' on the machine. We also realized that we were a dollar short. As if on cue, in walked office hottie. I don't know if it was the 'seemingly scripted moment,' the Sunday afternoon drinking or the new location but this time I didn't hesitate or trip over my words. In fact, I thought I was pretty slick as I glided over and asked to borrow a dollar.
Office hottie was slicker as he answered, 'Sure, on the one condition that you promise to share the photos and come over and say hi after.'
Five rounds of photos, several additional borrowed dollars, a few rounds of drinks and a couple hours of conversation later, I was kissing office hottie in the photo booth. This continued outside of the photo booth, and outside on the street until office hottie’s friends- who were just in town for the weekend- got a bit annoyed. They hailed a cab and demanded that the pair of us get in or get left behind. Being that it was last call, the former sounded more enticing.
Thus the three of us ended up on the UES 20 minutes later on, hottie's couch, watching ESPN. Despite my protests of being polite, hottie drove his friend almost to the point of nausea as he 'put on the moves.' His friend, Sean, made this point clear when he demanded the couch, a blanket and a pillow.
I took this as my cue to exit. I followed hottie into his room to help with the blanket and pillow - and to say goodbye with out the criticisms of friend-on-couch. Hottie took the blanket, etc. to his friend and asked me to stay put. I could see what he had in mind, but I had already resolved to leave. Clearly this wasn't the scene I'd had in my head on all those awkward elevator rides.
I also realized that he was taking too long to return. Thus, I did what any girl would do. I began to look around the room. This is when I noticed the following:
- He was very clean and organized = good
- He had excellent taste in shoes = very good
- We had similar tastes in music = excellent
That's when I began to notice smaller details such as:
- A photo of hottie and a cute girl = perhaps it's his sister?
- Secret sparkle pear-scented deodorant = strange
- Cute strappy high heels = WOAH!!
I picked up the heels and managed to hide them behind my back quickly as hottie re-entered the room.
"Hey you... question for ya?" I asked coyly.
"Of course... anything?" he replied
"OK... how many people are staying with you this weekend?''
"Just Frank who's MIA and Sean who's on the couch, why?"
I managed to keep my grin as I pulled the heels from behind my back and smartly inquired "Hmmm. Does FRANK wear a size seven?"
It was now his turn for his IQ to drop 20 points as he managed to mutter something intelligent like "uhhhhh ummmmmm."
To which I replied. "Look, I'm not going to hate you, or make a scene here, but are you seeing someone?"
More, "Ummmm uhhhh I don't understand," followed by, "could you repeat the question?" Clearly he had taken some of the same 'stall while you think of answers,' training classes I had.
Suddenly the spell wore off. "It's easy. DO YOU have a girlfriend?'' I asked again not so nicely.
"I don't see what you're getting at."
"OK the right thing to do in this situation would be to see me out and get me a cab. I'm going home."
Well he did respond well to his request. Apologized to Sean-on-couch, walked me down the stairs, flagged a cab, handed me cab fare and didn't even mention work.
Needless to say this experience didn't serve to make elevator conversations any easier.,. though I did give me the upper hand and has done plenty to dispel the aura of the office hottie. It also supported my friend’s advice that older guys are more likely to have girlfriends.
*For the record I've kept all names- and incrementing photographs- to myself. It's just not worth more than a laugh.
** Hottie has moved on to another line of business.